Thursday, April 25, 2013

51 NerdPostXclusive: Arcade Archives


BurgerTime


BurgerTime was a game. In it you are a pepper. Like Dr. Pepper asked us once through the eyes of the lovable killing machine, Johnny 5: "Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?" As pepper, you must season the evil ingredients before they steal all your hamburger. Burgertime uses a satellite linked, point-and-pepper integrated targeting system. For pinpoint peppering. Beware the hot dog man. Don't sweat the eggman. The Egg man is just the Walrus disguised by his rubber walrus protectors. Don't be fooled. Don't catch beefy fever. Many people have probably wanted to punch this game over the years. Fuckin' lettuce. Crap-ass buns. Dag-blasted tuh'maters. 

"Fuck this game."
-Me, 00:02:44 into BurgerTime

You're my pepper.
-2013 Wielgorecki  

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