61 Hiss-Hiss

There's a manmade lake near my house. Everyday I walk my dog around it a few times. Are you on the edge of your seat yet? During a recent walk, I noticed some Canadian geese that had some new babies. As my pup and I passed them, one of them turned and let out a little ancient bird/dinosaur "hiss-hiss" at us. It was pretty funny. "Hiss-hiss, don't you try and eat my babies you jerks!" It was a nice reminder of the wilds of Denver's suburban borders. If you don't live in or around the Denver area, you might not know that there are Coyotes and Foxes all over the place here. Most of whom, I'm sure would love a little baby goose snack, if they weren't so busy digging around in the yummy human's garbage. The behavior of these geese reminded me of the nature of some human parents. I can only speak for what I see here in America, and am not sure if this applies in other countries. Couples hate singles. Especially couples with kids.

Louis C.K. puts this embittered indifference into perspective. (LINK) I am a huge fan of C.K. but as a self-interested single, I gotta say: Fuck that shit.

No one's life is more important than another's. (see Sophie's Choice) It doesn't matter your race, sex, age, or how many offspring you've spawned. Many parents just don't see the world that way. As it is with everything, this is a matter of perspective. Once you form a human out of your's and another's DNA you are responsible for its care and not turning it into an asshole for 18 years or so. It is expensive as hell, a fuckload of responsibility, work, and ultimately, like all things most people do, it is a selfish endeavor. 

Why do we couple? We want people to like us. We need to be loved. Coupling affirms that we can attract and entangle another in our life without them hating us. It satisfies the ego. Why do we make kids? As Jerry Seinfeld put it- "Perpetuation of the species.." Obviously, but I have yet to meet anyone from my generation who really cares about that at all. It's really just another exercise in arrogance: "Look at this person, I created from half of my awesome DNA. They look just like me, and they're going to grow up to be great, which will reflect on me positively." Further inflating the ego. We are all selfish. Non-parents and parents alike. Everyone just wants to make the best out of their time in life, no matter who they are. This is true regardless of your perspective. Everyone is out for themselves, even when they help others. To hide your self-interest in a child doesn't make you selfless. Look, I put a marble inside a wooden box. Is the marble still here? Hell yes it is.  

Just because some people don't end up a couple or breed does not put them below those who do. That's fucked. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Our predominantly Judeo-Christian mores (mores = guilt-triggers) in the west, often prevent us from seeing this clearly. I won't bother going into the specifics of Moses's and Jesus's crazy-ass egos. I am also not a fucking solipsist. I'm just saying that coupling and family creation/maintainence are selfish acts, no matter what you sacrifice for them. Easy for a childless bachelor to say, sure, but my individual perspective does not diminish the truth of my statement.   

The burden of pleasure and pain that every parent shares is one of love. When this burden presents itself, many parental egos do some amazing logical gymnastics in regards to their humanitarian attitudes. In other words, you stop giving a fuck about anything but your kid, sacrificing self-awareness for a heightened sense of concern. These egos can even revert to the reptilian brain for this. They can easily become unstable and even dangerous. Love makes us all crazy.

I've seen the looks on the faces of families I walk past. Sometimes I even wave to them and say hello. I mean, they're looking right the fuck at my face. Rarely is my greeting returned. Get over yourselves, Ma & Pa Goose. I promise my dog and I have no intentions of eating your ugly white baby. I was just being friendly. What a buncha dicks. "Hiss-hiss!!" Right back atcha. Silly fucking geese.

-2013 Wielgorecki