"Lesbian Nazi Hookers abducted by UFO's and forced into weight-loss programs. All this week, on Town Talk."
-Al
Bust out yer twinkie wiener sandwiches and tell Big Edna where she can stick it. Oh, wait. You can't. Twinkies don't exist anymore. Sorry, Bob.
This week I'll be regaling you, my wonderful few readers, with some tales of my hometown. The truth is I am a little burned out on horrible movies right now. Watching them is work. It wears on the brain and retroactively makes me get drunk n' stuff. I was going to do some vampire ones, but I got about 10 minutes into some cinematic butt blood called "Love Bites" (with Adam Ant as the Vampire) and I felt a horrible twinge shoot up my spine. I'm just lucky I didn't die right there.
Instead, I turned the HD swirling brown off, and the cold, creeping sensation left me. As they say in Australia and Colorado: No worries. Toilet Theater will return sometime this June, as will NerdPosts and PCP. I just want to leave the TV off for a bit. There's a whole big world out there and I have an appointment at the Garden of the Gods, among other places.
This week and weekend I'll be joining Mr. Peabody in the Way-Back Machine to bring you a crazy-ass, true-life character study in 3 parts. Please don't mistake my historical account for nostalgia. There are people we've all known in life that we've been fascinated by. But this fascination always fades, and in the end you have to move on. I am certain I was this glass-caged freak for many over my years. But this shit isn't about me. It's about you. You are the reader. Without you, I am a ghost.
Beginning this week, please enjoy my, Tales of Ed...
-2013 Wielgorecki
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