Here's some news, now, from this week so far in the news, with yer newsdude, me. Forever bias. Zero journalistic prestige. Why watch the gruesome TV news, or sift through large barrels of dried shit in a newspaper or magazine? See six stories you surely can't live without. Plus YouTube Treasures for your viewing pleasures. Let's rock…
Science & Nature
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| Tanuki w/ titanic testes. |
Olinguito: Ninja Racoon
In Japan, folklore tells of the Bake-danuki or Tanuki. This is a powerful, somewhat mischievous, shape-shifting, racoon/dog animal spirit. The most famous of them were the 3 great ones:
1. 屋島の禿狸 Yashima no Hage-tanuki, who's large spirit still protects ancient temples in Kagawa.
2. 芝右衛門狸 Shibaemon-tanuki, who made tree leaves appear as gold on Awaji Island.
3. 団三郎狸 Danzaburou-danuki, who drove the foxes out of Sado.
In South America this week, scientists discovered a new species of tanuki. His name is Olinguito (Bassaricyon neblina.) He is the first new species of carnivorous mammal to be discovered in South America since 1978 (the Columbian weasel). Which is to say that this tiny tanuki is one very rare little dude, indeed. (LINK)
"Sports"
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| WhOa, Dude. |
Big O: Not Closed No Mo'
Montreal- Not to be confused with Steve Alba's old Orange County stomping grounds, nor with that big-ass robot piloted by the negotiator. Canada's Olympic Stadium-adjacent, Big O skatepark, has reopened after some soccer-dorks made the skaters move it out of the way so they could play soccer way bigger. Fuckin' jocks. At least they didn't break the O. Now it's back in place and ready to skate. Carve on, ye O Canadian bowl shredders. Careful ye don't become shredded meat though, eh? (LINK)
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| Graphiti by AltrdBst. NY, NY. 2009-ish. |
Mike Tyson: The Next Don King?
East NY- Mike Tyson, one of the most frightening individuals on Earth, and one hell of a puncher, announced his return to the world of pugilism this week. As a promoter? I was kinda bummed to hear that he chose that instead of becoming a full-time boxing trainer. Promoters like Don King, (who managed Tyson back in the day-duh.) are vultures, just like the "talent-coordinators" are in the world of TV/movies. Sure, promoters have nicer clothes than trainers. But, sometimes, what you gain in wardrobe you lose in integrity. Wouldn't it be way cooler to see Tyson all old, riding a bike with a little white guy running after him as if he were Doc Louis from his own Nintendo game? Full circle. (LINK)
Art
P-Poppin'
Switzerland- No handstand required. It's PAINT Poppin'! What you see here is paint layered on a ballon which is then popped and photographed at the moment of explosion. It is called Liquid Jewel, and it's brilliant creator, young Swiss artist Fabian Oefner, just wants you to "stop for a moment and appreciate the magic that surrounds us." I hope there's some super slo-mo video too. Awesome. Totally awesome. He said it left a pretty big mess behind when he made these. Yeah. A fucking cool-looking mess, ya mad genius. (LINK)
Guerilla Escapes Mouse
Orlando/Park City/Hollywood- The independent film that everyone shit their pants about at Sundance this January, Escape From Tomorrow, might actually get a theater release. Directed by Randy Moore, this was the surrealist/noir film that was shot entirely incognito at Disneyworld with iPhones. I wonder if Disney will now reveal their true fascist nature to the world and sue Moore & Co.? Mouseketeers, my ass. Fuckin' Nazi youth. Someone should talk Timberlake into dressing in one of those uniforms. Shit, Bowie did it. In any case, that mouse is a fuckin' asshole. (LINK)
Space...
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| Run From the Sun by Myke Wright. featuring: Tanuki Mario |
The Sun is Pissed!
Earth- At 4:24AM this past Tuesday morning, the Sun attacked us. In what is known to a smarty pant as a coronal mass ejection, the Sun shot it's load of a few multi-billion tons of solar particles directly into our faces at speeds of up to 2 million mph! Are we just going to sit here and take this, my fellow Earthlings? It's high time we rose up against that big ass plasma bully. What a dick. NUKE THE SUN!!!! (LINK)
Entertainment
Poop, AKA shit or whatever you call it, carries with it an undeniable stigma. It's shit, ya know? Feeces. Sometimes a clever thief will swallow some of his loot and poop it out later. This is referred to as a loot-poop. Sometimes a loot-poop comes out in a loop. Usually when the thief has swallowed a neclace or chain. When I was writing Poop-Culture Phenomena, it didn't contain just poop. Some of what I wrote about was great entertainment. Most of TV is crappy, easy targets and that's all fun and shit, but it's not the place to share truly revolutionary, original, creative video GOLD. This is. Welcome to YouTube GOLD!
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| Doug Lussenhop on buh's Poundhouse. |
Another crazy tentacle of the wonderful and wily internet octopus known as The Video Podcast Network. buh, (pronounced buh) is a part of JASH, Earwolf, and UCB's ever-growing family of comedy programs, including the best in sketch, improv and podcasts/talk shows. These are not established, ruling-class samurai comedians like Seinfeld, Louis CK, and Brian Regan. These are comedy's ninjas. They run down the blade-thin edge of comedy as art, and they do it better than anyone. If you were a fan of shows like Monty Python, The State, Mr. Show, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Look Around You, Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Delocated, or Human Giant, you will dig buh, JASH, VPN, and all the weird, hilarious fun they shoot off into cyberspace each week. (LINK)
Vice: Crappy Korean Wine
WARNING: Not for anyone with an even remotely weak stomach. This is truly gross. One of those things you just can't believe is real. But it is. Turning illegitimately-obtained children's feeces into wine. Not actual wine like some Nazarine purportedly produced, poopy-wine. I felt especially bad for my biggest crush right now, Japanese journalist, Yuka Uchida who went to Korea to try the drink they call Ttongsul. At the end, she even expresses a concern that no one will want to marry her now. Nonsense, Yuka. You are beyond beautiful. Too bad YouTube doesn't have a love button...(LINK)
Eric Calderone: E-Rocker
Eric Calderone AKA 331Erock is a fucking rad guitar player. He posts instructional steel shredding metal tutorials. Most of these are modified movie and video game soundtracks he turns to pure metal. Bad as fuck. Nothing else to say, listen and enjoy, or watch and learn. (LINK)
Vice: The Reggie Watts Story
The best journalists that currently inhabit the planet Earth, are the radical young dudes and dudettes of Vice magazine. Why? Because they have no fear, and aren't mid-aged male & female prissy anchorsluts. Monday, Vice's superb interviewer, Reihan Salam sat across from a dude who needs no introduction in this blog, musical genius, guru, warrior poet, and mad coyote, Reggie Watts. I'll reveal nothing to you here, other than that Reggie's secret origin story is as delightfully strange, humorous and fascinating as his act is. If you're a big fat fuckin' fan of Rad Rhythmystic Reggie like I am, you will elate. (LINK)
That's all from the Nooze Nozzle this Dozzle, my Frozzles. Thanks for reading.
-2013 We'll Go Wreckie
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