39 Skateboards From Hell

Why skateboard? There are lots of reasons people get into skateboarding. I got into it in my teens. I had always hated team and ball sports. Especially the people involved. The jocks. I needed something physical to do with my energy. Getting laid (still my favorite physical activity) was too sporadic and unreliable. This was because of how dumb I was. Surfing was too expensive. The Gulf of Mexico's waves on Florida's west coast were always a joke, anyway. As were most of its rich, jock surfers. I was heavy into art at the time. One of my buddies from art class taught me to ollie one weekend. It took months, but on my own, I eventually mastered the moving ollie. This new skill opened up the streets to me in ways I'd never imagined before. In a way, it expanded my creativity. Manifesting a new form of physical intelligence in my brain. Over the years, I have found that this profound, urban intelligence exists in all true skaters, no matter how smart or dumb they are otherwise. The main reason I skate is because it is fun. Without fun, life is completely worthless.

Another reason to skate, is to raise hell. (see MDC: LINK) Skateboarding makes lots of people mad. Not just because they lack the balance, fearlessness, drive, and toughness to do it, but because it is loud and can really fuck shit up. (shit=property) There is nothing like bombing a street with 4-10+ other skaters. The disapproving faces and sounds the pedestrians make. Cars honking with aggravation. Someone yells out "What the fuck?!" Fists shaking at you in your rear view. Pissing people off can be intoxicating. Especially to the young of blood. This effect was not lost on me up into my 20s, when I lived in NY. Everyone there is usually pissed off anyways. Even if they weren't, I took care of that where I could. Rudely, twisting through crowds of citizens and shit-dipsters, nearly smacking many with the very sidewalks they stood on. Hearing that whiny angry "HEY!" or "Fuck You!!" as I rode away. A shit-eating smile across my skull.

Perhaps that satisfaction was derived from an inner-anger. If it was, I have long since leashed that pissy wildcat. Older and much calmer now, I live in Colorado. A state like NY where communities understand the importance of kick-ass local parks, and build them accordingly. Within 10 minutes of my house are 2 parks I can skate 24 hours a day. Harassment-free. I usually skate alone now, on chilly nights, in deserted parks. Zen shit. I don't care how old I get, it is a permanent part of who I am. Even if a drunk trucker smashed my legs into blood and bone chutney tomorrow, I'd be cool with it. Because, for a monumental part of my life, I got to skate and piss off tons of people I'll never know.

Support your local skatepark. Never quit.


Gangway!

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-2013 Wielgorecki