I'm not sure if this will be a regular thing or not yet. Hope it makes someone laugh somewhere. As far as modern poetry and I are concerned, I dislike, very much, the so-called "Jam" style poetry. I can't even sit through ONE of those, let alone a whole "Jam". Words are fun. I like to constantly fuck around with words. Sometimes people call that poetry. Here are 7 poems I wrote about romance, finance, some climactic movie scenes, some breasts, and the wild. I believe they have a cool soul zen groove, and, are truly awful poems. If you want to read them as a Beatnick, just say ", man." at the end of each line. Like Dennis Hopper, man.
Shit Face
I am Vigo the Carpathian.
I'm ugly as shit.
Ugly as shit.
I am Vigo the Carpathian.
I'm ugly as shit.
Ugly
as
shit.
Hurty Darey
School Bus on a RAMPAGE!
The kids are havin' fun today!
Mr. Scorpio is the bus driver now.
Callahan's on the roof.
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Getting Hard by Going Soft
Let me be up on them B-cups.
Let me seize up on them C-cups.
Let me dream up on them D-cups.
Cause these D-cups is the cups
That will be my fat-ass pillows tonight.
I love to squeeze up on them big ol' titties.
I do not want to hurt them.
So let me know if I have squeezed those shits too tight.
I love you girl.
I love your big-ass, bouncy-ass tits.
Ah-ight?
Snot Pop-its
Bopple Bun
Take a stand.
Muppets.
And the Milkman.
Oysters.
In the pee pan.
Cereal in Elmer's glue.
Potato chips in sea sand.
Steel trees.
Sap that's the wrong kind of cottage cheese.
Bop the brown mist winter wheeze.
Cold as Jack Frost's farty breeze.
At ease.
UH!
Uh! Fuh!
Not in my nuh.
Damn. Nunna-Tub.
Fuckin Duh?
Kuh-guh, DUH!
Luh….UHH!! Uh!
Oh.
Uh.
Beasts on the Banks
Sharp, thirsty teeth.
Patient breath.
Mud crunch.
Elephant butt-skins.
A gussied glam gun grip.
Useless.
As tits on a rattlesnake.
Cobra Kings.
Comforting as spiders' legs.
Monkey Fists.
Screams
Fleas.
Parrots.
Peas.
Carrots.
Cards. Credit.
Terrorist tariffs.
Hump Hamper
Two tiny people
Are humping in your hamper.
They are brown and hairy.
And they're wearing yellowed Pampers.
All the towels inside
Just get damper, and damper.
Because
Two tiny people
Are humping in your hamper.
Be safe. Check your home hampers.
"Do it for me…McGarnagal."
-McGarnagal
Hurty Darey would've been really great if it was read by Joey Ramone. R.I.P.
I have nothing else to say now.
-2013 Wielgorecki
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